Mothergood Feature: Rayvin
1. Tell us about your background and a little bit about who you are?
I am a stay-at-home mom, wife, and artist from and residing in South Louisiana. I came from a single parent home of a Registered Nurse. We were well off, so we were fortunate not to have struggled.
I suffered a miscarriage at 18 with my first love who broke my heart. I thought the best revenge was to act like a man and treat men like objects. Boy, was I drinking the poison. I was kicked out the house, went to Houston and enrolled at Texas Southern University. By the time the first semester was completed, I landed in jail on false criminal charges. My mom hired a lawyer and wanted me back home, and I had no strength to fight her after finding peace during my brief stint in jail.
After this time in my life, I met my husband on a street in South Louisiana called Friendship. Through him, God allowed my children to be the ones who saved me. I’m forever grateful for our journey, and who I am to others and myself today.
2. What do you find most fulfilling about motherhood? the most challenging?
The most fulfilling thing about motherhood is my responsibility to my children. It gives me purpose and I am glad for it. The responsibility is also the most challenging thing. I’m responsible for them, so everyone else and their opinions of what and how I do what I do with my children are completely off limits. That’s a challenge. That causes me to choose between my father and my children, my mother and my children, sadly, even my husband and my children.
3. What does motherhood look like for your right now? what do you love about where you are? what would you change?
Motherhood looks like waking up at 6am for some me-time. Caffeinated tea, mopping the floor and washing the dishes. If I don’t get some me-time in when they’re sleeping, I feel like my toddlers completely ruin my day. I used to do graphic design before having kids, but I’ve chosen to not do that at this point in my life. Hey, I wouldn’t trade a ruined day or postponed career for anything in the world.
I do wish I was more consistent in contributing to the household financially but I can’t fathom anyone else with my children so consistently. I play different musical instruments, and my hobbies include photography, and makeup. I have to follow my passions so that my children feel confident enough to do the same.
4. How have you incorporated motherhood into your identity without losing your own individuality?
I have no earthly clue. I equally hear from the same mouths. “Rayvin, I never ever thought you’d have kids...you don’t even like kids....you’re an amazing mother and you make it look soooo good”. Motherhood and the business of nurturing has engulfed my reputation. I like it.
5. What advice would you give women who are considering/desiring motherhood?
When I had my miscarriage, it consumed me. Every toxic behavior, that was the root. While me and my husband were trying to conceive, I surrendered. I surrendered to the thought that I may never get pregnant and vowed to be a mother to his already present children. The day after I spoke to God..THE DAY AFTER, I found out I was pregnant. Letting go of expectations, especially of the female body functions, is the very key to peace but most of all, the avoidance of disappointment.