1. Tell us about your background and a little bit about who you are?
I’ll try to keep this short(ish) and not write an entire book on my life. (Maybe I’ll publish one on my own time.) My name is Michaela, but I go by Micki! I’m twenty-four years old, a mother of two gorgeous little girls, and a wife to my high school sweetheart!
“So far, so good! Seems like a sweet, normal family!” Okay, I’ll get to the juicy parts now.
I got pregnant with my firstborn at seventeen years old- as a senior in high school. Uh-oh. Even better? I had been a pastor’s kid for my entire life, and it wasn’t a small church either. My Dad pastored four huge districts in the South Bay and I spent my entire childhood in whatever limelight that gave us. Long story short, my Dad ended up resigning as a pastor when he and my Mom got divorced, but I think he still saw himself as a reverend. When I got pregnant, it was a huge hit to his ego. “How could you do this to ME? To MY reputation?! What will people think of ME now?! With a teenage daughter pregnant!” (Can you tell the type of person we’re dealing with?)
The other issue in this ordeal? My Dad is a racist, and the father of my children is black. I would give you examples of the things he said to me about my child when he found out, but I’ll leave that be for my own personal peace and healing.
So he kicked me out. I moved from Southern California to Alaska at eighteen years old the day after graduating high school, with a six-month-growing fetus in my womb. I was a single Mama and did long distance with my man for the first six months of our daughter’s life. That means I went through my third trimester, birthing, nursing, and infancy all alone at eighteen years old, while renting a room from my Grandma and working full-time to support my baby and I.
I finally saved up enough to purchase a plane ticket for my man, I got us a cute little apartment, and we moved him up to be with us. (Can I just pause right here for a minute and commend this man? He doesn’t have a Dad, and didn’t want his baby growing up without a father so he dropped everything, packed a suitcase, got on a plane for the first time in his life, and moved 3,000 miles away to ALASKA just to be with us.)
We got married at nineteen years old on New Years Eve. We got married in my Mom’s living room. Our firstborn, Essence, cried the entire ceremony, the photographer did the entire event with a fisheye lease, we had sparkling cider since we weren’t legally able to drink yet, and it was awesome. (Seriously such a beautiful, intimate day!)
We dealt with a LOT of racism being an interracial family, and we ended up moving back to Southern California when Essence was two years old. *Insert lots of drama and poverty and struggles and trials and ups and downs here.*
Fast forward past a few crappy apartments, lots of car trouble, me quitting working outside the home and hustling with six different “work for yourself” jobs that I could bring Essence with me to, and three early miscarriages….. we were finally happy and stable and making it all work.
And then our sweet rainbow baby, Naomi Rose, showed up in my womb. (By magic! We don’t know how she got there! Just kidding.)
She is now eight and a half months old, and just the light of our lives! Essence is THE BEST big sister, and my heart is finally full after my losses. Life is beautiful right now and I’m so proud of our journey.
Nice to meet you!
2. What do you find most fulfilling about motherhood? the most challenging?
The most challenging thing for me personally as a mother is the fact that I was thrown into it SO early on in my life that I feel like I’ve been running a million miles an hour since forever. There wasn’t really a fun, carefree young adult time period in my life, and so balancing and processing through all the stress and trauma that came with my childhood while immediately becoming a mother myself at seventeen was HARD. I still have my days where I pause and think, “Is this really my life? Do I seriously have two mini humans that depend solely on me as the adult? Isn’t there an adultier-adult that can handle this?!”
But the most fulfilling thing for me is the awe and wonder that comes with looking at these two amazing little humans that my body grew and pushed out and nursed and raised and gave LIFE to. Their little smiles, their giggles, their happiness. It means everything to me to get to create a childhood for my children that they won’t have to recover from.
3. What does motherhood look like for your right now? what do you love about where you are? What would you change?
What does my life look like now? I homeschool Essence who just started Kindergarten this year, I work from home full-time as an International Business Coach and as a Social Media Influencer, I run our home and take care of all the behind-the-scenes things, and I chase little Naomi around as she is now WALKING since the end of her seventh month. I also help my husband with anything he needs as he works full-time, and is also in college full-time studying to be an engineer. (Let’s be honest- that’s a full time job for me right there.) Oh- and I also breastfeed, garden, model, am recently vegetarian, and I love, love, love The Lord, so we also balance church life in with all of that.
So basically I don’t even have time to breathe, and it’s awesome.
I think the only thing I would change right now if I could would be to use the Universal Remote from Click to zip forward to my husband already having his degree and a better paying job…. but such is life and we are embracing all the life lessons that come to us in these chapters of progress.
4. How have you incorporated motherhood into your identity without losing your own individuality?
Well, first of all, I’m a no-nonsense type of Mama. I’m firm with my children – and they know that there are certain correct ways to treat mom and dad and their responsibility to creating a positive home environment. I see and hear so many stories of Mamas that just feel so defeated and overwhelmed because of their children’s behavior. While it’s a constant struggle, we choose to foster loving discipline and order in our home. Secondly, I raise my children to be people that I love to be around so that I don’t feel like I have to escape from them to be myself. We go on adventures together, we laugh together, we grow together, and I just love being with them….
But when I AM alone? I love to create. My social media has been an incredible outlet and such a beautiful way to express myself and connect with other powerful women and mothers. I love filming videos on YouTube, creating content for my Instagram, and indulging in self-development. My business as a mentor and coach has been incredible, as well. I absolutely ADORE my business partners, and watching them reach success in their own lives through my coaching is such a driving force for me.
5. What advice would you give women who are considering/desiring motherhood?
Do motherhood YOUR way. Take bits and pieces that you like, and leave the rest. Don’t listen to the Sassy Susan’s or the Negative Nancies in your life that paint motherhood as an eternally exhausting uphill battle with few points of light. Creating and then nurturing a little life is the most beautiful and most divine journey life will ever offer you. Your privacy for sure will be a thing of the past, (I’m typing this while sitting on the toilet and simultaneously nursing a teething baby) but MAN is it unmatched by any other experience life or money has to offer.
(Now let me go back and fix all my typos that Naomi made while smacking my phone out of my hand multiple times during the duration of this narration.)
Thanks for reading! I hope to meet you on my social media soon!