1. What does motherhood look like for your right now? What do you love about where you are? What would you change?
I am a wife and a mother of two under two, which has been wonderful and overwhelming! My first is 19 months and my second is 3 months! From a young age, I have always known that I wanted children and lots of them! I come from a big family and I wanted to create a big family of my own. I am currently on maternity leave and I love spending every day with my two boys. They constantly keep me guessing and there is never a dull moment. I do wish that I was quicker to find my balance of having two under two. I have struggled quite a bit with spreading my time evenly between them!
2. How have you incorporated motherhood into your identity without losing your own individuality?
This is something I truly struggle with! I feel like motherhood consumes you! It is not a bad thing at all, but sometimes it does start to get to you when you feel like you’ve completely lost yourself in the job. I try my hardest to find small things to do that I am passionate about! I don’t have a lot of spare time, but when I do find a minute I take advantage! Even if it’s something as small as getting my favourite coffee, getting my nails done or finding a small DIY project I can really get into! There are also fun things that involve my kids like getting creative with my Instagram pictures and letterboards! I have found so much joy in getting creative and making people laugh!
3. Talk about your postpartum anxiety.
Postpartum depression has become a well known condition, but anxiety hasn’t. I have pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point of not being able to sleep. My dreams live out my worst fears of everything bad that can happen to my children. When I am awake I am constantly doubting myself and tearing myself apart. I convince myself that I am not a good mother.
If you are feeling these things to please know you are not alone. The best thing that you can do is talk about it. Don’t bottle it up. Anxiety is having that little voice in your head that constantly reminds you of your fears. Don’t let that voice control you. You are an amazing mother and an amazing human being. Don’t let your postpartum anxiety define you and seek help when you need it. You are no less of a mother for having this condition. Just because it isn’t talked about doesn’t mean it’s not common. You are not alone!
4. What advice would you give women who are considering/desiring motherhood?
Take it one day at a time. Some days you are going to feel like you are doing everything wrong and completely overwhelmed. That is so normal! We all feel that at times. There are going to be hard moments but it is so incredibly worth it! Having children is my greatest joy in life! Be sure to take breaks when needed, never fear asking for help, and be kind to yourself!